Custody battles can easily get heated. When there is so much on the line, it’s easy to let your emotions get the better of you and act spitefully or say something you might later regret. However, when your words and actions are subject to scrutiny by the court, you run the risk of incurring legal penalties that can threaten your custody case and, ultimately, the time you get to spend with your child.
The lawyers of Lunn Law have over 60 years of cumulative experience helping our clients navigate the legal landscape around custody cases. We can help you through every step of the process and understand the things that need to be said and done.
One important aspect with which we can assist is helping you understand how best to communicate with your ex and avoid making moves or statements that jeopardize your case. Below, we seek to inform you about some of the pitfalls that can happen if you let your negative emotions get the best of you.
There are certain things you should never say during your custody case, and these things include:
Threats
“I’ll make sure you never see the kids again.”
“You’ll regret doing this to me.”
“I’ll make you pay.”
No matter what form they take, threats during the custody process are not treated lightly. Although you might feel wronged, making threats is not the way to deal with your ex–even if they threatened you first.
When you make threats, whether you intend to act on them or not, the court can decide that you are not fit for custody of a child as you might be considered violent or volatile. You can also be subject to measures such as protective or restraining orders, which would mean your child could be taken from you before the custody process is even complete.
Lies
“I’ll tell the judge you hurt me and our child.”
“What they don’t know won’t hurt them.”
“Who are they going to believe–me or you?”
When there is so much on the line, you might feel inclined to do what you can at all costs to preserve the time you have with your children. In some cases, this might mean making a false accusation that could hurt your ex’s chances of receiving custody. You might even think to yourself that, even though you are lying, what you are doing is justified for the greater good–but you would be mistaken.
If you are found lying or making false allegations in court, you could be subject to court sanctions and potentially have your own custody suit jeopardized since you might be viewed as unreliable, spiteful, and a bad influence.
Accusations
“You’re a terrible parent.”
“The kids are always better off with me.”
“The kids hate spending time with you.”
Like lying, the court does not take accusations well. Even if you feel that your accusations are true, they should not be used as ammunition in your private battle with your ex.
Rather, if there is a substantial accusation you need to make, such as allegations of abuse, you need to bring it to the attention of the court and make an effort to submit viable evidence through legitimate legal avenues. Otherwise, keep accusations about personal wrongs and slights away from your ex, the children, and the eyes and ears of the court system.
Intentions To Go Against Court Decisions
“I don’t have to follow the schedule we agreed on.”
“I can do whatever I want with my time.”
“I don’t care what the court says.”
When a custody decision is reached, you must abide by that decision. If you do not like the decision, you are allowed to petition for a custody modification, especially if there is new evidence in your favor, but you must go through the correct legal avenues for any changes to custody. Voicing your intention to not comply with the court can mean that your custody is indeed modified, but not in your favor.
Potential Legal Penalties
If you are found saying the wrong thing to your ex, you could face penalties related to your custody case. Some of the potential consequences that may come up in court might include:
- Impact on custody decisions: You might lose custody time with your kids and, in some cases, you might have your custody time revoked. Hostile parenting or parents who are not able to collaborate or who are at risk of alienating their children from the other parent can influence decisions on custody arrangements.
Courts tend to make decisions based on what is in the best interest of the child, so they might favor a parent who demonstrates that they can cooperate for the sake of the child’s mental and emotional wellbeing.
- Restraining and protective orders: If you make threats, it can lead to repercussions in the form of protective orders. If your ex gets a protective order, it can impact your custody case, visitation, and it can even mean that you are barred from your residence or seeing your children altogether.
- Contempt of court: If you are not compliant with court orders, you can be held in contempt of court. If you are found in contempt, you can be issued fines or have your custody order modified against you, among other potential penalties.
- Counseling and co-parenting classes: If one parent is causing conflict in the custody arrangement, the court might order mandatory counseling or co-parenting classes or even anger management. It is best for your child if you and your ex are able to communicate effectively, so these classes would be aimed at enabling a better parenting relationship for the sake of your kid.
These are only a few of the potential penalties you might face if you are hostile or unwilling to effectively communicate with your ex. For help on effective communication strategies, the lawyers of Lunn Law are here to help you make the right moves.
Lunn Law Can Help You Say The Right Things
If you are fighting for child custody, the lawyers of Lunn Law can help you with compassionate and experienced guidance. We know you want to do what’s best for your family, so we can help you say the right things and make the right moves to meet your custody goals. Reach out to schedule an initial case assessment with us and learn how we can make a significant difference.